Quit

Today I am a tangled mess of bleakness. I had to quit my Hebrew language course as it was getting too difficult for me. It seems I have miscellaneous afflictions. The doctor can't point to anything in particular and has relegated me to "third trimester" issue person. But, I can't help but think there is something more going on. Lately, more often than not I feel like my heart is racing, I start sweating and feel faint a little. The only thing that helps is lying down. Even typing on my computer makes it worse. So my discomfort was amplified sitting in a class room half the day. However, I am depressed about it as I was enjoying learning Hebrew. I need to learn Hebrew. And as much as I found the 21 year old's in the class beyond annoying ("I don't understand, why does Israel have three emergency numbers and not one like in the United States? Please explain teacher as this is very important to know..."), I was liking the routine and really liking learning. So yeah, I am sad and feel a bit like a failure.

To add to my distress, I cannot walk on one of my feet. I believe years ago I had a tiny hairline fracture that is now compromised due to the weight gain. Now it hurts to step on it and I am limping everywhere. Not good for a fat pregnant woman who needs all the exercise she can get! I am seeing the foot doctor on Wednesday.

So allow me to feel sad a bit today. My body is a mess. I now have to postpone studying Hebrew. And mostly I still just feel like lying on the couch to alleviate my symptoms.

9 weeks to go and

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