Childbirth courses and more

So, my boyfriend and I attended our first childbirth class on the weekend. It was interesting. Not so much for the content, but mainly to be forced to recognize that we are actually having a baby. We were sitting in a group of four other couples at varying degrees of pregnancy. It was comforting yet odd. It is a strange thing that one singular generic (but special) event can bring people together. In any event, the class we are taking is called a "Hypnobirthing" class, however it doesn't really focus on the "hypno" element. Its central premise is that fear in childbirth leads to adrenalin which leads to one's muscles constricting and the uterus receiving less blood, which then leads to hospital intervention. The class focuses on breathing and relaxation (and visualization, but less my cup of tea), in order to help a person feel less fear and be with the pain, so to speak. And the theory continues that once one intervention is needed in an hospital environment, a domino affect is ignited.

Ever the diligent student, I raced home to read the course book and read it cover to cover. It didn't really say anything new per se (I have read a lot already!), but did center and ground me on what needs to be done if I want to attempt to have a natural birth. The best part about the lesson was the aftermath when my boyfriend proclaimed that we were going to have a home birth!

Then, yesterday, I watched the Ricki Lake documentary, "The Business of Being Born". Apart from crying every time I saw a baby being born (I blame my hormones going into overdrive), I loved it as it was saying everything I have been ruminating about since I have been pregnant. It was basically a huge endorsement for natural birth and the film witnesses a few women having pretty "easy" births. It is always surreal to watch them moaning and yelling. It freaks me out! But, the endorphin/oxytocin high they seem to get once the baby is born looks pretty cool. I do recommend this film- just to get an overview of how childbirth was treated in the past and how it is now treated.

Which all brings me to, I am still up for it (natural childbirth, that is). That said, again, I give the disclaimer that it is academic to some degree to want this right now. In some ways the intention is very important. If I set out to have a natural birth maybe I can enact some of the relaxation techniques? Maybe I can just be calm and "be with the pain"? This process is different from other pain as there is not only a beginning and an end, but the end is complete with a baby. Who am I? Am I capable of such an act? Do I have the inner resources? The physical strength?

Mostly, as a result of watching the video, it hit home that a real, live baby was going to come out of me. For some reason, this thought has been the most elusive to me. Pregnancy has merely been a physical condition, rather than the baking of a baby.

30 weeks. 10 weeks to go (in an ideal world).

What will happen?