Hamburgers/Cravings and food

Last night I had a craving for a hamburger...

I was raised a vegetarian for the most part and generally only eat fish and occasionally chicken, however pregnancy changed this...

Last night: I order a sandwich type thing from a place called "Eat Meat" (a bizarre place to go for someone formerly a vegetarian). I can't actually look at the meat, but just know that it will be disguised in this sandwich (true to Israeli style with amazing condiments and sauces). I catch a glimpse of the pink meat and feel a little nauseous. I turn away until the sandwich is safely put in the take out box. Once home, I eat really quickly. My excuse is I need iron. Yup. That's it.

The other day I read that the baby is now starting to taste what I eat via the amniotic fluid. I find this entertaining. Just before I have my strawberry smoothie I can imagine the baby swimming in a strawberry flavored stew. And now, he gets a warm dose of hamburger flavor. I also read that how you eat now can affect his taste later? I am not sure if this is true or not, but I like the idea of having an affect on this taste buds at such an early age. At this point, I know he will love, strawberries, toast with vegemite, avocado, eggs, cheese and the occasional hamburger. Oh, and he will love sushi (but maybe the vegetarian kind since I cannot eat raw fish).

My relationship to food fascinates me during this time. At the beginning it took on a manic quality. Some items were passionately disgusting and others just bland. I never had any specific aversions just a general haze of dislike. And, the more carbohydrates a food item contained, the better. I should have guessed something was a little odd when in New York (newly pregnant but undiscovered), I had a sudden craving for fried chicken, which until that time I had NEVER eaten. In the space of two weeks I may have eaten it at least three times.

More disconcerting was the anxious feelings I would get when I was hungry and didn't have anything immediate to eat. It was an awful feeling. I felt so out of control. Sometimes we would be in the car and I would have to get my boyfriend to stop- anywhere- to find something. When my mother visited she was upset by this and she had never seen anything like it. I had to eat when I had to eat. It was a really difficult time.

After years of eating consciously and well I was just eating anything with bread and cheese I could get my hands on. I felt out of control.

Now, things have calmed down a little with the eating, however the hamburger craving haunts me from time to time. My boyfriend likes it when I eat meat as he loves meat and wants this baby to love it also. However, I cannot cook meat and usually only find it palatable when it is disguised as something that doesn't look like meat. I will have to find a way to deal with this as I want the child to eat meat, but for now I am turning the other cheek.

Until then, he will have to enjoy being in a warm bath of hamburger fluid. Yum.