Too much to read

Like everything else, the apprehension of an event is very different from the reality of an event. While I find myself worrying about different questions, most mothers have been there and done that and tell me that I will figure it out. Lately, I have been worried about breast feeding. I have witnessed many women breast feed and have seen many women wince as the baby first attaches to the breast. Eventually it all seems rote, but I do remember the beginnings. And, like everything in pregnancy, what seems like it should be "natural" does not seem to be such a natural process.

I read this book the other day called "The Baby Whisperer", which discusses getting a baby onto a schedule as soon as possible. It talks about how to breast feed and when to breast feed. Then I read another book, "Baby Love" (which is generally fantastic), and it muddies this process by saying "whatever works". The thing is, before I started reading I wasn't so confused, however reading different books has left me with a sense of unease. Am I up to this?

I have convinced my boyfriend that I am pretty confident with babies. That, more or less, is true. However, I do not feel confident with the initial six weeks. I am scared of the sleep deprivation and of the confusion of breast feeding/sleep patterns etc etc. And, I am also scared of how overwhelmingly demanding it will all be.

I think I am going to stop reading for now and let my intuition take the reigns. In this day of saturation of information there is no end to the multitude of differing views. I need to trust myself.

Trust. Faith.